APPRECIATING THE FINISHED WORK JESUS CHRIST DID ON THE CROSS !

Its our month of Resurrection and thanks to God for all He did by sending Jesus Christ to die for us at the cross! His love for mankind took Christ to the cross as John 3 : 16 said..For God so love the world that He gave His only Begotten son, that whoever believes in Him, will not perish but have everlasting life...Your believing is appreciating the finished work Christ did at the cross..indeed, we will cherish the old rugged cross and one day, God will crown us in heaven! Kindly meditate on Psalm 107 as you go through this month of appreciating God through Christ Jesus and the finished work on the cross that has given us Salvation, new life, new beginning, promotion, good health, wealth, joy, laughter etc ! Enjoy the joke below, a dear friend sent it to me via forwarded mail!

This one is priceless... A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!!!!

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew toFlorida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've Arrived

Date: October 16, 2005

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I've seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.Looking forward to seeing you then!!!! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S Sure is freaking hot down here!!!..LOL

NB -Picture: Courtesy Charles Imiavan pictures.

JESUS CHRIST - THE GREATEST MAN FOREVER !

Jesus Christ was the greatest man in History and will be forever.
His birth can not be explained in human terms as He was conceived of a Virgin mother!..(Check the first Chapters of the book of Matthew & Luke).

His mother, Mary's visit to her Aunt Elizabeth caused the baby in her womb to leap.

His birthplace was in a manger surrounded by animals. Shepherds came to pay homage as directed by an angel.

Wise men also came from the east to pay homage bringing with them Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh as gifts.

The day, He was taken to the temple to be presented as specified, was seen as an answer to prayers by a devout man Simeon, who had been told he will not die until he saw the Messiah, the Prophetess Anna too witnessed to baby Jesus Greatness!

At age twelve, He was already sitting among teachers in the temple, listening and asking them questions....

Jesus had no servants, yet they called Him Master.

Had no degree, yet they called Him Teacher.

Had no medicines, yet they called Him Healer

He had no army, yet kings feared Him..

He won no military battles, yet He conquered the world.
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him.
He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today.
I feel honored to serve such a Man and Saviour who loves me unconditionally, and paid for my life with His very own blood !.....

Learn and laugh at the joke below!

Why You Should Study Your Bible

Acts 2:38.

A woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church service , when she was startled by an intruder.. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled: 'Stop! Acts 2:38!' (Repent and be Baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ , so that your sins may be forgiven.)

The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar: 'Whydid you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture at you...' 'Scripture?' replied the burglar.. 'She said she had an ax and two 38s!'..lol !

Remember: Knowing the Scriptures can save your life - in more ways than one!

JEHOVAH GOD DIRECTS OUR STEPS !

God is God all by Himself..He directs our steps by Himself..no matter our plan..Its His perfect decision to direct our steps..

Prov 16:9 A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps. - No matter what you plan, if its not in God's perfect plan and will..He over rules it..Jonah can testify of this!

Prov 19:21 There are many devices in a man's heart; nevertheless the counsel of the LORD, that shall stand...Only His counsel will stand in our lives all the time.....Mordecai and Esther can testify to this!

Prov 16:3 Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established...If you willingly commit your life to God..He establishes your path..Solomon the King can testify to this!

Ps 37:23 The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way..God delights in ordering His children to their progress..... Joseph going to Egypt is a testimony of this!

Ps 23:3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake...David can testify to this!

Prov 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths...Indeed, Jesus Himself is a testimony of this as in all His ways on earth, He acknowledged God....So today let God direct your steps in Jesus name as doing so will give you the last laugh over every situation ! Enjoy the Joke below as indeed Laughter is a tonic for the body!lol

Baked Beans

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home.

On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: 'Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.' He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang.....

He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill . I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I let off three more. The smell was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable....

When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: 'Happy Birthday!' I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Truly Hilarious!

I AM THAT I AM !

God is indeed what He says He is, He told Moses this when He called him in the burning bush..check Exodus 3 - 14...God indeed proved this name as He saved the Isrealites with a mighty hand showing that He is truly "I AM THAT I AM"..Today..He will be whatever you want Him to be:

(1) Lord God- Jehova God (Heb. Yahweh) (Gen. 2: 4; 15: 2, 8)

(2) The God Most High- El Eligon (Gen 14: 18; Ps. 82: 6; Acts. 16: 17)

(3) I AM Almighty God - El Shadai (Gen 17: 1; 28: 3; Nu. 24: 4; Jer:32: 18)

(4) Lord, the Everlasting God (Gen 21: 33)

(5) The Lord provides - Jehova Jireh (Heb. Yireh) (Gen 22: 14)

(6) The Lord heals - Jehova Rophy (Ex 15; 26)

(7) The Lord is my Banner - Jehova Nissi (Ex. 17:15

(8) The Lord your God - Elo Hekko (Ex. 20: 1)

(9) I am a Jealous God - Lord Gamulah (Ex. 20: 5; 34: 13; Jer. 51:56)

(10) I am the Lord who sanctifies you (Ex. 31: 12)

(11) The Only God - Lord is One (Deut. 6: 4)

(12) Eternal God (Deut. 33: 27)

(13) The living God (Josh. 3: 10)

(14) The Lord of peace - Jehova Shalom (Jud. 6: 24)

(15) The Lord my God - Eloi/Elohai (Ps.22: 1; Zech. 14: 5; Mark.15:34)

(16) Jehovah my Shepherd - Jehova Rah (Ps.23: 1)

(17) The Lord our maker - Jehova Hossinu (Ps. 95: 6)

(18) The Mighty one of Israel (Isa. 1: 24; 9: 6)

(19) The Lord of Host -Jehova Tsebaoth (Isa.1: 9, 24; Jer. 32: 18; Ps. 80: 7)

(20) The God who guides/leads-Jehova Nakka (Isa 58: 11; Ps.23:2)

(21) The Lord our righteousness -Jehova Tsidkenu (Jer. 23: 6)

(22) Holy God (Isa.43: 3, 14, 15)

(23) Lord your redeemer (Isa. 43: 14)(24) Lord your Savior (Isa.43: 3)

(25) The Lord who strike- Lord Wekkay (Eze. 7: 9)

(26) The Lord is there - Residing God. (ez.48: 35)

(27) God of Heaven (Neh. 2: 4; Jonah 1: 9)

(28) Heavenly Father (Matt.6: 9)

(29) The only immortal God (1 Tim. 1: 17)

(30) The King Eternal (1Tim. 1: 17)

(31) Father of lights (James 1; 17)

(32) Jesus - Jehova Salvation (Matt.1: 21)

(33) Before Abraham was I AM (John 8: 58)

(34) I AM the Bread of Life (John. 6: 35, 41, 48, 51)

(35) I AM the light of the world (John 8: 12; 9: 5)

(36) I AM the door of the sheep (John 10: 7, 9)

(37) I AM the good shepherd (John 10: 11, 14)

(38) I AM the resurrection and the life (John 11: 25)

(39) I AM the way, the truth and the life (John 14: 6)

(40) I am the true wine (John 11: 1, 5)

Just laugh it off!!!!!!!!

Three men got lost in the forest and were captured by cannibals. Thecannibal king told them they could live if they pass a test. The first step of the test was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples."The king then explained the test to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."The first apple went in.. but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.

The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the test to him he thought this should be easy. So in they went 1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8.. and on the 9th berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples!" ...LOL!

GOD OF A SECOND CHANCE !

Today, you will have a testimony as the God of a second chance is alive! You may have lost all as a result of things you did just like David did in 2 Samuel 11 and 12:1-24.... He had an affair with another man's wife and got the man killed by sending him to the fierciest part of a battle being fought by Isreal, after the Prophet Nathan told him he had sinned, he was so sorry, and though he paid for his sins as God is not mocked; "whatsoever a man sows he reaps"! But he finally got reconciled and God forgave him...the son from Bathsheba became King Solomon, his successor.

Indeed God is God of a second chance, if you will just come to Him and not remain in your sin to be tormented by the devil..Have the last laugh and laugh at the devil as you get reconciled with God! Enjoy the joke below!

A young Jamaican father-to-be awakened the village doctor in the middle of the night saying "Doc!Doc!Come fas nuh! Is muh wife man! She water dun brek man! She bout to born de chile!"

The doctor came over and told the father "Hold de lamp higher! Hold de lamp higher nuh!" The father obliged, and behold, a baby's cry was soon heard. The father cried out: "Praise de Lard! A boy! I's de proud fadduh of A baby boy!

"The doctor again told the father, "Hold de lamp higher! Hold de lamp highernuh man!". The father again complied, and to be sure, another cry was heard. The father excitedly proclaimed: "Is twins!! I got twins! I's doubly blessed! Glory be to God!

"The doctor instructed, "Hold de lamp higher! Hold de lamp higher nuh!" Sure enough, a THIRD cry was heard! The father, somewhat subdued, in a nervous tone, muttered, "Oh. Thank ya Jesus.

"The doctor repeated, "Hold de lamp higher!. Hold de lamp higher nuh man!", and a short while yet a FOURTH cry was heard.The father said nothing, being lost in deep thought.The doctor for a fifth time commanded "Hold de lamp higher man! Hold the lamp higher nuh!" The father then asked; "Doc, yuh tink maybe is de light dat attractin' dem?"

HAVING THE LAST LAUGH!

I have declared this month a month of marching forward and my scripture reading for the month has been the entire book of Esther...a remarkable book indeed, This is one book in the bible that God is not mentioned but you can see His hidden hands behind every chapter!

The story in Esther is that of an orphan who later became queen and finally saved the Jews from the hand of a conniving Haman...she and the entire jewish people had the last laugh as a result of her wisdom and favor she found with the king!

Indeed Wisdom is the principal thing..as we face that challenges in our lives this month, may we apply wisdom and the God of Esther will help us all have the last laugh!

Enjoy the joke below... this is not meant to diss Africans but to show our creative side..am proud to be an African without apologies!..if i was in the person shoes, i may do same as per money to bring corpses from Overseas is more than money for a living person travelling! lol

Who else can do this but an African ! A family in Africa was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother arrived from Overseas , sent by their sister. The tiny corpse was so tightly squeezed inside the coffin that their mother's face was practically touching the glasscover. When they opened the coffin, they found a letter from their sister pinned to their mother's chest, which read:

Dearest brothers and sisters,I am sending you our mother's remains for burial in Africa . Sorry Icouldn't come along as the expenses were so high. You will find inside the coffin, under Mama's body, 12 cans of Libby's corned beef and12 cans of Luncheon Meat. Just divide it amongst yourselves.

On Mama's feet is a brand-new pair of Reeboks (size 8) for Junior. There are four pairs of Reeboks under Mama's head for Rick's sons. Mama is wearing six Ralph Lauren T-shirts - one is for Donald, Roy and the rest are for my nephews. Mama is also wearing one dozen Wonder Bras (your favourite), just divide them among yourselves. The 2 dozen Victoria 's Secret panties that Mama is wearing should be distributed among my nieces and cousins.

Mama is also wearing eight Dockers pants - James, please get one for yourself and the rest are for the boys. The Swiss watch you asked for is on Mama's left wrist, please get it. Aunty Kiki: Mama is wearing what you asked for - earrings, rings and a necklace; please take them. Also, the sixpairs of Chanel stockings that Mama is wearing must be divided among the teen-age girls there. I hope they like the colours.Your loving sister, Nene

P.S. Please take care of finding a nice dress for Mama for her burial. (YOU MAY GO TO ANY FLEA OR THRIFT SHOP FOR A CHEAP DRESS..) In case you need anything that I may have forgotten, please let me know as UNCLE IS NOT FEELING TOO WELL!...SO FUNNY!! Enjoy your week!

March : MONTH OF MARCHING FORWARD!

This is a month of faith, a month where you will step out, obey God and have a net breaking,boat sinking testimony like Peter the Apostle in Luke 5 : 4 -7. You will laugh as you testify!

Enjoy this joke sent by a sister and a friend! Its written in the Nigerian local pidgin English, but its so funny, i had to share! lol

He who fights and runs away .... Na fear catch am

Pikin wey no sabi em mama boyfriend... Dey call am brother

A rolling stone no just dey roll... Na person push am.

He who lives in a glass house……. Na im pepe rest

A stitch in time........ dey prevent further tear tear.

Birds of the same feather...na the same mama born dem.

One good turn......... na correct power steering be that.

A bird in hand........ wetin e wan be again if no be barbeque.

Half bread………. is better than buns/ puff puff.

D journey of a thousand miles……. Ol’boy e beta make u carry your car go o or enter aeroplane

He who laughs last........ na mumu. Why im no catch the joke at the first time and laugh when others dey laugh?

The patient dog........ Na hunger go kill am.

All work and no play……Na Banker be dat

All play and no work…… Abeg na real life be dat. After all i see as u dey always happy wen dem declare holidays!!!

NB - if you need me to explain this joke to you, because you do not understand our local Nigerian pidgin english.. pls leave a comment! lol